RENEWED HOPE
Renewed Hope 11th February 2016
Yesterday my nephew had his first British Mental Health assessment with his consultant whose conclusions were that he was neither mentally ill or autistic but did need support with his learning disabilities.
He was to stop taking the anti-anxiety drug as it was 'holding' him in a place where he would be unable to develop in any way but, in particular, because he was unable to 'feel', he was unable to develop emotionally.
That he had to feel his emotions to learn to live with them.
This wonderful doctor talked of how every human being ultimately only wanted to bring Joy and Happiness into their lives and all my nephew had lacked for the adult part of his life, until now, was a nurturing and compassionate environment.
I collapsed in tears - my nephew drew strength.
The suggestions, apart from help from the Learning Disabilities team, for my nephew to help himself:
Breathing exercises - In through the nose and concentrating on letting go with a prolonged outbreath. The inbreath follows automatically.
Going out and walking briskly.
Not drinking alcohol.
There were others - but the most important of all?
Do what his Auntie told him to do!!!
My nephew was told he could get much better and that made us laugh.
I have now had some time to truly wonder at what occurred yesterday. And to be thankful for and in awe of the power of the prayers and love and light showered upon us by some awesome friends, to create a perfect space for this to happen.
We were truly blessed yesterday. A day on which I also received the first poetry book of my life! The Gift a translation of poems by Hafiz, a Persian poet who lived at the same time as Chaucer. This morning this poem touched my heart.
My nephew is still who he is and I am still me. There are a myriad of practical problems that may arise before us as we change direction and follow a different path (or turn left as my nephew described it!) But above all there is now hope where hope was hard to find.
And so here is a song that I haven't been able to stop hearing in my mind and singing out loud to lift my spirits since December:
“Come Sing a Song with Me”
Moving Forward Monday 29th February 2016
I can hardly believe it's been less than three weeks since I last wrote something here. It feels more like three months! I seem to be 'snatching time' out of the jaws of busy-ness to give me space.
I now have four books on the go and two waiting in the wings! I have only managed to complete one. However, every time I choose the one to pick up the passage, poem, chapter I read speaks to me and helps me through the day.
The latest poem from The Gift by Hafiz that I love and have with me every day as a reminder:
Yesterday my nephew had his first British Mental Health assessment with his consultant whose conclusions were that he was neither mentally ill or autistic but did need support with his learning disabilities.
He was to stop taking the anti-anxiety drug as it was 'holding' him in a place where he would be unable to develop in any way but, in particular, because he was unable to 'feel', he was unable to develop emotionally.
That he had to feel his emotions to learn to live with them.
This wonderful doctor talked of how every human being ultimately only wanted to bring Joy and Happiness into their lives and all my nephew had lacked for the adult part of his life, until now, was a nurturing and compassionate environment.
I collapsed in tears - my nephew drew strength.
The suggestions, apart from help from the Learning Disabilities team, for my nephew to help himself:
Breathing exercises - In through the nose and concentrating on letting go with a prolonged outbreath. The inbreath follows automatically.
Going out and walking briskly.
Not drinking alcohol.
There were others - but the most important of all?
Do what his Auntie told him to do!!!
My nephew was told he could get much better and that made us laugh.
I have now had some time to truly wonder at what occurred yesterday. And to be thankful for and in awe of the power of the prayers and love and light showered upon us by some awesome friends, to create a perfect space for this to happen.
We were truly blessed yesterday. A day on which I also received the first poetry book of my life! The Gift a translation of poems by Hafiz, a Persian poet who lived at the same time as Chaucer. This morning this poem touched my heart.
My nephew is still who he is and I am still me. There are a myriad of practical problems that may arise before us as we change direction and follow a different path (or turn left as my nephew described it!) But above all there is now hope where hope was hard to find.
And so here is a song that I haven't been able to stop hearing in my mind and singing out loud to lift my spirits since December:
“Come Sing a Song with Me”
Moving Forward Monday 29th February 2016
I can hardly believe it's been less than three weeks since I last wrote something here. It feels more like three months! I seem to be 'snatching time' out of the jaws of busy-ness to give me space.
I now have four books on the go and two waiting in the wings! I have only managed to complete one. However, every time I choose the one to pick up the passage, poem, chapter I read speaks to me and helps me through the day.
The latest poem from The Gift by Hafiz that I love and have with me every day as a reminder:
It reminds me to listen with an open, non-judgemental heart. Something I need a lot.
I am learning so much about myself, my light and my shadow side. Continually bringing the darkness into the light to be healed. To enable me to be the best I can be for a vulnerable and frightened adult who doesn't know the rules of his new world whether they be mine or society's. Bless him he's now learned to ask me how I am, did I sleep well, what I have done with my day. And fingers crossed, we have a new and better place for him to live, with it's own front door, self contained. I didn't realise just how much he struggled living in a shared house, not having his own bathroom, kitchen, living room. But this too will bring it's own challenges, big changes once again, the uncertainty and not knowing.
My nephew loves football but unfortunately, his team Aston Villa are not doing well and are likely to be relegated. The other day he came up with the phrase 'Keep Believing' within this context. I grasped hold of the idea and asked if he could imagine saying that for himself, his own life, his own abilities, his own sense of well being, his own future.
Trust me. Those are words I use all the time. And yet I often find myself despairing, not trusting, not believing. They say the teacher always teaches what they to need to learn! Well we're both on a very steep learning curve.
I'll finish with another song I learnt with a group of friends sitting around the kitchen table one Monday morning:
I am learning so much about myself, my light and my shadow side. Continually bringing the darkness into the light to be healed. To enable me to be the best I can be for a vulnerable and frightened adult who doesn't know the rules of his new world whether they be mine or society's. Bless him he's now learned to ask me how I am, did I sleep well, what I have done with my day. And fingers crossed, we have a new and better place for him to live, with it's own front door, self contained. I didn't realise just how much he struggled living in a shared house, not having his own bathroom, kitchen, living room. But this too will bring it's own challenges, big changes once again, the uncertainty and not knowing.
My nephew loves football but unfortunately, his team Aston Villa are not doing well and are likely to be relegated. The other day he came up with the phrase 'Keep Believing' within this context. I grasped hold of the idea and asked if he could imagine saying that for himself, his own life, his own abilities, his own sense of well being, his own future.
Trust me. Those are words I use all the time. And yet I often find myself despairing, not trusting, not believing. They say the teacher always teaches what they to need to learn! Well we're both on a very steep learning curve.
I'll finish with another song I learnt with a group of friends sitting around the kitchen table one Monday morning:
DEEP
Where I'm deep in the silence so perfect and slow
Holding you like a melody someone sang to you long ago
As beautiful as the song inside of you
Hear the melody, feel it guiding you
Always homeward, leading you here
From The Book of Rounds by The October Project
Where I'm deep in the silence so perfect and slow
Holding you like a melody someone sang to you long ago
As beautiful as the song inside of you
Hear the melody, feel it guiding you
Always homeward, leading you here
From The Book of Rounds by The October Project